She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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