chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
