I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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