Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
