i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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