he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
