mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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