please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
