So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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