He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
