I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
