I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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