Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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