I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
