She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
