Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
