I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
