After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
