I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
