Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
