Whoa Z and x make the same sound
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
