you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
