this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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