i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
