we were pretty classy up until the second keg
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
