another moral hangover. fuck.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
