I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
