Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
