Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
whose parrot is this?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
