Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
