Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
