I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
