Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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