Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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