Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
