Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
