I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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