You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
