Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
