I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
