I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
