Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
