Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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