Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
