In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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