Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
