if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
