I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Still dying that you shit outside
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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