Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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