never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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