I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
